What’s in a name?

Deciding what to name my blog was a challenge. I want it to reflect who I am, but I also want it to invite others to identify with it. In trying to narrow down my choice, I realized that I have multiple interests. That’s a good thing, but it might result in a person being just the teensiest bit tangential. So, I tried to be logical and focused with my approach to the naming process. When that didn’t work, I let my instincts prevail. Here’s the story:

After our mother’s death, my sisters and I decided we would get together every year around Mom’s birthday to spend time together and to toast our awesome mother. There aren’t any real hard and fast guidelines for this, after all we’re nothing if not flexible, but we have managed to carve out time together every year. Last year I decided I wanted to write a little something to commemorate the day. While mulling it over in the days preceding, I heard the word frenemy (someone who pretends to be your friend, but really is your enemy) for the first time. It struck my ear and started rolling around my subconscious. Eventually it came to me that I would write a little essay about why it’s good to have frelatives (friends/relatives). At the end of the piece I noted that we three could take it a step beyond frelatives because we are fristers (friends/sisters). I made them each a little fristers day badge and they courageously wore them the entire day. I took that as further evidence that the embarrassment tolerance threshold is directly proportional to wisdom and maturity.

Anyway, that was that. We had a great day, toasted our mother, and had a lot of laughs. Fast forward a couple months. In the middle of the night I had a very clear thought. Now that is very unusual for me. Not having a clear thought as much as having a random one in the middle of the night. Well, maybe both. In any case, I really can’t say whether I was asleep or in the state between wakefulness and sleep, but it came to me that I should make fristers magnets and that I should remember the idea in the morning.

In the morning the memory was so clear and so odd that I felt I had to follow up on it, even though I have never, ever thought about making magnets of any sort. Hmmm, what to do? Rather than approach the project in a completely logical and focused manner with tons of research and a business plan, (this is me after all) I partnered with my niece the artist. We put our little heads together, decided our definition of frister is, “A loyal and loved friend/sister,” designed fristers magnets and cards, and called ourselves foreverfristers.

There you have it. I don’t know what the future holds for foreverfristers, but it is near and dear to my heart as are all my many fristers. Foreverfristers represents some of my strong emotional ties and relationships that are woven with friends and family. Gathering together the collective spirit of my fristers provides the power that comes from knowing my tribe. It helps me discern where I belong and with whom. I have come to understand that biology doesn’t always dictate the definition of family.

Thus, my blog became fristerspeak. I consider it an open space for my true voice . . . and yours. It is my deepest hope that fristerspeak will allow an ever-widening circle of us to gather as fristers to share, shelter, and support each other through trials and triumphs.